Bodily malfunctions

The body is capable of the most amazing things. At the same token, it's a real fragile piece of shit. I've been having bizarre experiences and I don't know if I want to take them as signs, or to tell my body to suck it up.

Currently I'm dealing with a painful left foot. It's really hard for me to walk long distances and I'm walking all crooked because my feet wanna twist in crazy ways to lessen the pain. And the worst part is, I have no idea how this happened. Is it possible to go to bed normal one night and then wake up with a sprained ankle? My brother suggested I rub some Ben Gay or Icy Hot on my foot, but when I went to CVS, they had a generic Muscle Rub cream that I bought since it was cheaper. I'm not really feeling the burning sensation of Muscle Rub that Ben Gay offers and I regret not buying the high-end brand. Tonight I shall go to yoga anyway.

Also, the night before my roommate left for vacay, I had some reeeeaally bad episodes of sleep paralyses happening right after another. Sleep paralysis is so scary and my fear of sleep stems from them. Things are much better now and I sleep on a more regular schedule but I don't understand why my brain and body can't work together so I can have peaceful nights. Why does my body keep doing this to me?

And finally, I don't wanna get all girly on everyone but I'm seriously fat and I'm getting really self-conscious. Despite all the yoga I do, and despite me eating healthier than I ever have in my life, my pants are getting tighter. Do you ever buy a pair of slammin jeans that you splurge on and tell yourself it's okay because you'll wear them for the next 10 years? In my case, my totally bitchin pair of skinny black Ksubi's that I bought 2 years ago no longer fit me. And just by looking at them, I know that I'll never fit into them again. Never. AGAIN. Oh my poor jeans, staying forever young while my body morphs to one of a flappy old maid.