illuminating strangenesses

i'm moving!!!!

2010-05-24T20:16:00.003-04:00

i'm pleased to announce my blog is moving to tumblr land starting today (it's the same blogosphere where my bff's special things web log currently resides!! she and i are gonna be living together again, sort of!)

i'm also changing the name of the blog just cus "illuminating strangenesses" is a mouthful and there are so many s's in strangenesses and it kind of bothers me to say it. kind of like how i hate saying words like crisps and breasts. they're like sound effects, not words.

but anyway please come visit me at pizzadanceparty.tumblr.com

goodbye blogspot thank u for being a good listener

yupdate from euro!!!!

2010-05-20T19:01:00.003-04:00

great news, im alive and well! despite some major setbacks (robbery, airline strikes, ashcloud fuckery, constipation, etc.) im still in high spirits because i get to go home in 3 days. yes! plus im in berlin and i identify and feel something special towards this city the most. its a great place to be. and to think, i was going to cancel this last bit of the trip when british airways decided to ruin my 25th birthday. (i hate them and i will never fly with them again.) but anyway!

i lost my phone and all the pics i had taken so here are some quick thoughts on my journey so far. you will just have to take my word for it:

- lisbon, in a word, is unremarkable. not in a bad way but not in a good way either. the main attraction is an ugly elevator tower no joke. also the people here act as though theyve never seen an asian person before and ive never gotten so many rude comments and stares. i mean, not completely in a racist way but also in a racist way. lisbon does however have the most slammin weekends in the bairro alto district. crazy shit over there!

- barcelona is where my stuff got stolen. i hate it there and im never going back again!!!!!! their food also sucks

- paris is exactly how i imagined it would be but better. on my last night, we smoked a little, conversed about playwrights and artists and novelists, and watched Charade, the cary grant/audrey hepburn movie set in paris while we sipped tea. it was too perfect. i wish i had a little more time in paris. the desserts were bitchin. the french computer keyboards were not.

- there was a huge trashmen strike happening when we arrived to amsterdam so unfortunately the entire city was covered in garbage. huge mounds of heaping hot refuse covered every corner and it was really disgusting. we did pass through an amazing book fair at one point (the books were not exactly cheap but the fair offered extensive collections in every genre imaginable) and i picked up an old print of The Thurber Carnival which im obsessed with!!!!! i was so happy i felt like poopin my pants. i still do

- euros are currently around 1.2 to a dollar. pounds are around 1.4 to a dollar. i dont know why they insist on using 1 or 2 pound/euro coins. they are so annoying and heavy! also most things cost in increments of five so i also dont get why 1 pence and 2 pence coins exist.

- london!! so chill. except the part where so many people get knifed in the city. its difficult to get guns in london (maybe in all of uk?) and even the police dont carry guns. which is why people are always getting stabbed. my friend was tellin me that this one guy got killed by broken beer bottles from the sidewalk. not meant to bring anyone down, just something i learned that i thought was interesting. in sartorial news, the girls in london all basically wear the same thing: body-con micro minis (verrrrrry short skirts just covering their tooties) with black tights and black boots with some tight top with a denim vest and a twisted silk scarf tied around their head a la amy winehouse. its not a good look ladies! yer butts are hanging out

- big american movies overseas are the back-up plan (the j.lo flick) and date night (the carrel-fey vehicle). in all the countries besides the UK, the movies are called Plan B and crazy night!!! (or el noche loca!)

alrighty thats all for now. sorry about the grammatical errors and stuff im on a weird english pseudo-QWERTY arabic computer right now. see you in a few nights and days!!!!!

eve

2010-05-05T04:56:00.002-04:00

It's after 5AM and I'm finally packed for Europe! You know this awful feeling you get when yir brain says ur gonna get screwed. But then the other part is like, don't be retarded u don't wanna bring all that heavy stuff and plus i thought u wanted to shop n stuff. SO okay brain #2, u win and I'm only bringing a pair of jeans, three tees, a sweatshirt, leggings, a fleece vest, and 17 pairs of underwear. That way i leave some room in my backpack for new clothes i plan on thrifting n splurging. I mean, thats the plan. let's hope I can afford some nice things! (pray for me. I literally have nothin to wear/pack. not tru, I just wanna shop a lot)

n U kno that feelin u get when ur so exhausted ur eyes start doing that fireball thing and the voices in ur head become extra chatty? I might just be excited but also i'm sleepy as fuck. Pray for me i have to get up in 3 hrs for a full day of work before i can actually declare vacay. n the sun is rising right now! BYE

It is what it is

2010-04-29T21:59:00.003-04:00

As they say

St. Jimmy

2010-04-29T01:12:00.008-04:00

We saw American Idiot on Broadway and it was a lot of fun!! I didn't cry like a baby like I did at Aida and Hair, but still, there were some things that made the back of my throat tingly.

Like when the song "The Last Night On Earth" was performed. It's so pretty especially with all those smooth Broadway voices. I didn't know what the song was called for a few days so I kept calling it "The Heroin Song" because it's at the scene where Johnny and Whatsername shoot up before "doing it."

That part is a little awkward. The sharing of needles is romanticized and things get hot when the young lovers/junkies entangle themselves in a very long rubber band (you know, the kind used to shoot up heroin into your arm). I mean, it gets really sexy.

This is maybe my fav song from the show so far. It makes me melt every time. I can't find the Broadway recording online so I'll upload the Green Day version for now. It's sort of the same. SORT OF. Come over and I'll play the Broadway version for you on iTunes, or I'll just sing it for you in person.

great weekend. sad it's over.

2010-04-27T17:08:00.000-04:00

oh MY Danny boy

2010-04-22T15:26:00.008-04:00

I miss Daniel. Daniel is my friend from the Indian dosa restaurant that I used to work at. He is so funny and in high spirits all the time, even though he has a really stressful job. He's one of the main cooks. He is barely 5' tall, mischievous, and has an incredibly intelligent sense of humor for someone not from this country. Daniel is originally from Mexico but the point is, I think he's one of the best dosa makers ever. Even the Indian customers that used to come in would be like, wow these are fuckin amazing dosas and I'm from India, I would know! And then I'd be like, Sweet, I'll tell our Mexican cook that he's totally bitchin in the kitchen. But seriously, our Mexican pals are the best cooks running the city. It's not just Daniel, but even when I worked at a Korean restaurant for a hot second, the Mexican cooks there were nailing the Korean cuisine also. They're in every type of kitchen, mastering everything from Asian to Italian to French, blah blah you get the point.

Anyway, here's my wishful thinking: I hope that years down the road, Daniel will open his very own dosa restaurant and have it blow everyone out of the water because it's so fucking delish and everyone will think, Woah this is so nuts he's not even Indian he's Mexican. But actually, that would totally make sense, and also it would rule so hard.

and other observations

2010-04-21T11:07:00.006-04:00

my friend posted a link to this poem on his fb a few days ago. and i love this so much!

in high school, my english class had a really comprehensive poetry curriculum. we even had a class trip to the boring ass Dodge poetry festival at waterloo village in bumblefuck nj. And it sucked cuz analyzing poems was boring and i just didn't get it!!!! i couldn't even pretend that Beat poets were interesting because i didn't like reading their stuff. why were they so long!!

but the poem above is great. i can appreciate these types of poems a lot more, only cus i can read it and not rip my hair out and still have a life. nowadays when people talk about poetry i pretend to know a lot just because i had to learn so much about it my senior yr, but secretly i hated a lot of it. I always thought the best part about a poem was its title. poems always have slammin titles. here, i'm gonna pretend like i'm well-versed in poetry now just arbitrarily spewing out a few things I know, but actually i barely know much at all: A Rabbit as King of the Ghosts (wallace stevens), Prufrock and The Wasteland (both by TS eliot), dying is fine)but Death (ee cummings), Having a Coke with You (frank o'hara) and The Tyger (william blake). wowee, those are some slammin titles, right (as they should be, otherwise i would never have tried to read them at all)

anyway here's the other published poem by michael robbins from new yorker a few years ago. why do i think he is so cool? is it only because my friend thinks he is so cool? am i super fake? anyway

okay now im done talking about this. u know i'm all eeeeee about? super excited about the movie Howl to come out. james franco yay

BIG WEEK

2010-04-19T18:07:00.002-04:00

rainbow feelings

some schmoke in its eye

2010-04-12T15:10:00.002-04:00

The music teacher taught us this song called "What Have They Done To The Rain?" back in elementary school and I remember being so afraid of acid rain* that I refused to drink tap water, eat fish, stand out in the rain, et cetera. Not going into specifics, it took me a very very long time to get over the fear. Thinking back on it now, and re-tapping into my darkest childhood fears, I wonder if they can make the stuff they teach in elementary school any less scary.

*Initially the song, originally by Malvina Reynolds and covered countlessly, was a political song campaigning against aboveground nuclear testing and not so much about acid rain (although the theme applies, and was what we were taught about back in school.)

Just a little boy standing in the rain,
The gentle rain that falls for years.
And the grass is gone,
The boy disappears,
And rain keeps falling like helpless tears,
And what have they done to the rain?

HEY GANG, IT'S FRIDAY!

2010-04-09T15:23:00.002-04:00

i stole this pic from EJ it makes me lol

180s

2010-04-07T23:44:00.006-04:00

If I got the story correctly, there was this guy at MTV whose sole job was to control the company-owned digital billboard in Times Square. I've never met him but lots of people know who he is because he's been doing that for like almost 20 years. But he recently left to dedicate his full time to his little ice cream company in Long Island that's starting to take off! And I think that's so amazing! I love when discoveries and secret passions like that emerge, seemingly out of nowhere.

The same thing happened when I was an intern at a "hip" "downtown" "fashion" magazine. The receptionist quit suddenly to become a zoologist. Who knew she was even that into animals?

Anyway, point is, here's a thing about getting older: Things that people used to characterize you with in high school are drastically different than the things people characterize you with in college, and beyond that, in the workforce and other realms of reality. Rightfully so. But when in your life did you feel at your truest self? When would others say was your truest self?

Sometimes I hear my mom saying she's going to shave her head and turn into a monk and live in a temple in the mountains. I don't know if she's joking or not. It usually stems from her being frustrated with her grays and wanting to get rid of her hair completely as to not worry about it anymore....so maybe it is a joke (but she's also crazy). Either way, she's someone who has a plan of action still untapped.

One less month

2010-04-05T01:37:00.005-04:00

I'm turning 25 years old soon and I'm not looking forward to it! And I was thinking about it.....the only reason why I'm dreading becoming a year older is because I feel very little sense of self-accomplishment. I would love to be able to say I've accomplished xyz by the time I turn 25 years old, or be acknowledged of "outstanding work" for a young person. But the quarter-century mark swiftly approaches and I feel as though I've already missed the boat. I'm feeling like such an old fart lately! Like thinking 21 year old boys are dateable, reading style blogs written by 13 year olds, seeing artwork in museums done by people my age, and reading books by authors who haven't even graduated from college yet. Sick world!

I mean, I'm not trying to get all negative nancy on anyone. And I truly don't mind getting older! In fact, I often fantasize about being a senior citizen who goes to plays every weekend, or at least in the nearer future, being a "lady who lunches" with her really cool professional friends. That all sounds really sweet. But right now, all I'm doing is getting older without any sort of influential mark on this earth as a young person, and that part is disappointing to me. And it's the reason why I'm not looking forward to my next birthday.

But one cool thing I will be doing before my 25th birthday will be backpacking around eastern Europe for a little bit. That's gonna be really cool. Like so cool I don't even know why I'm doing it at all! Lisbon, Barcelona, Paris, Amsterdam, London, and Berlin are some the places I'll go. The rest after that (in America) is TBD. :( :( :(

I mean

:) :) :)

Bodily malfunctions

2010-04-01T15:06:00.003-04:00

The body is capable of the most amazing things. At the same token, it's a real fragile piece of shit. I've been having bizarre experiences and I don't know if I want to take them as signs, or to tell my body to suck it up.

Currently I'm dealing with a painful left foot. It's really hard for me to walk long distances and I'm walking all crooked because my feet wanna twist in crazy ways to lessen the pain. And the worst part is, I have no idea how this happened. Is it possible to go to bed normal one night and then wake up with a sprained ankle? My brother suggested I rub some Ben Gay or Icy Hot on my foot, but when I went to CVS, they had a generic Muscle Rub cream that I bought since it was cheaper. I'm not really feeling the burning sensation of Muscle Rub that Ben Gay offers and I regret not buying the high-end brand. Tonight I shall go to yoga anyway.

Also, the night before my roommate left for vacay, I had some reeeeaally bad episodes of sleep paralyses happening right after another. Sleep paralysis is so scary and my fear of sleep stems from them. Things are much better now and I sleep on a more regular schedule but I don't understand why my brain and body can't work together so I can have peaceful nights. Why does my body keep doing this to me?

And finally, I don't wanna get all girly on everyone but I'm seriously fat and I'm getting really self-conscious. Despite all the yoga I do, and despite me eating healthier than I ever have in my life, my pants are getting tighter. Do you ever buy a pair of slammin jeans that you splurge on and tell yourself it's okay because you'll wear them for the next 10 years? In my case, my totally bitchin pair of skinny black Ksubi's that I bought 2 years ago no longer fit me. And just by looking at them, I know that I'll never fit into them again. Never. AGAIN. Oh my poor jeans, staying forever young while my body morphs to one of a flappy old maid.

my bro: "ugh! why do our parents fail at the internet!"

2010-03-31T14:13:00.004-04:00

My dad joined facebook a few months ago but he has nothing written in his profile, no picture, no nothing. I think all he does is log in to confirm friends and that's it. More recently my dad's best friend Bill, who is like my surrogate father, also joined facebook. And now he and my dad are fb friends. I saw this little exchange today on my dad's profile and I loved it so much. I just love Dads doing Dad things, you know?

So I've never met my dad's friend Daniel but he and my dad belong to a Korean hiking group. The group takes a van to various mountains around the New England and Mid-Atlantic area every Sunday to climb some mountains, and every year, they travel to a foreign country to......climb more mountains (last year they went to Patagonia). Anyway, how sad is it that Daniel feels no love from his daughter Rebecca! The comment in Korean says "our daughter, every time i upload a picture of us two she takes it down... hohohoho"

Who denies their father like that? And although my dad does absolutely nothing on facebook, if he were to, I would never be ashamed to have his comments or pics show up on my profile, unlike Rebecca is to Daniel. I love you Dad!!!!!

Scarface School Play

2010-03-30T00:06:00.004-04:00

I just saw this vid posted on my fb news feed, and it's really incredible.

Happy Friday

2010-03-26T16:41:00.005-04:00

My brain has been hurting so much. I think my glasses are too strong. I don't need to drink because I already feel drunk 24/7. I need to get this checked out ASAP. I'm going insane!!!!!! Check out this pic. My brother found a teeny crab inside the mussel he was eating! The inside of the mussel looks like a vagina sort of, and I don't like that a crab is in it.

is this sexy

2010-03-20T22:14:00.006-04:00

if you look real carefully at the opener to the VH1 makeover show TRANSform Me, you will see my sour sally face! you'll also see francesca and her younger sister natalia too. u guys like wut u see????? it was wet and rainy that day

2010-03-20T20:43:00.003-04:00

I'm so grateful for all of my friends. I love love love love love love love them so much. Just remember your friends are your family. Remember to hug them and be reminded of the love and trust they share with you. Don't forget the friends you don't get to see or talk to regularly because they are still there for you too. Everyone will be there.

duh

2010-03-14T20:35:00.001-04:00

he wrote me a ticket for being a gaylord

2010-03-08T11:20:00.002-05:00

wow, snl. what can I say? this past week's episode was soul satisfying. zach galifianakis is such a freak weardo beardo and his opening monologue as an opportunity to basically do a stand up routine. he makes me belly laugh like a drunk old man.

also vampire wkend is like my fav band of all time. that's saying a lot because i'm only 24 and the band's only a few years old.....but they have already transcended throughout all of time and they are my faves. top 10 or something.

AND ALSO THIS

glam goth grunge

2010-03-05T12:03:00.009-05:00

genius

SNL post hupdate!!!!

2010-03-04T11:25:00.003-05:00

If you're one of those people who thinks SNL's not as funny as it used to be, you're not alone. Michaels says, "[People say,] 'You know what the great period was?' It's almost always when they were in high school." He said that's the time when "people bond with the cast."

http://www.mediabistro.com/fishbowlny/tv/live_from_the_w_its_tuesday_153742.asp

DUHHHH my point exactly!!!!

I can see their soul patches!!!

2010-03-02T01:46:00.003-05:00

I've decided i'm gonna start posting my fav vids of SNL sketches every week. why? cus I love this show!!!! STILL, OKAY? Always have. People who say this show isn't funny anymore probably were nerdy in high school and stayed at home Saturday nights and watched it and thought it was funny back then, but like all of a sudden, they went to college and didn't have Tivo or whatever, and then stopped watching SNL all together for like 4 years cus of college and drinking and parties and saturday nights and like NO ONE watched SNL cus it was so uncool to be at home watching TV in real time on saturday nights. And now it's 2010 they're old and live in homes with DVR now and they're all like "omg this show sucks now how can anyone watch this" but actually I think this show has gotten weirder, darker, more hilarious, and the writing staff has some handpicked young talent with cool ideas, and shit, this show is great. everyone else be jealous or something because they don't understand how to be all like HAHAHA i really like to laugh at funny things. OK so the episodes are a hit or miss but don't people say that about EVERYTHING. Plus, you try putting on a new live show every week, dickwads.

ANYHOOODINI, here is something that made me farrrt this week (lol)

Also, something from a previous week. AHH SO GEUD.

my current brain muncher

2010-02-25T21:23:00.004-05:00

I sometimes think I'm losing my ability to think critically. It's so sad! For instance, I'll go and watch a movie, enjoy it thoroughly, but then that's it. Or I'll read a great book, be happy about it, but then that's it. I pretty much wish I could have round-table discussions but at the same time, not. I don't wanna be a dick, you know.

I mean, I suppose what I love about "real life" is that I'm not forced by exorbitant collegiate fees to write analytical essays about the stuff that's covered in a curriculum. I remembered in school thinking, "The whole idea of dissecting movies and books really takes the 'joy' out of just enjoying them at entertainment-value." But now, it's like, dang I don't know how to debate and not feel like a complete wiener about it. Because I'll admit that I dislike people who do that still. That's why a lot of the film majors in college were such choads!

Anyway, I'd really like to find a pseudo-serious book/film club and then join it. But I'd prefer it to be super chill laid back. (Will never happen.) In the meantime, I'll look up Cliffnotes of novels after I've read them and scan through rabid IMDB message boards of movies I've watched. Otherwise, I feel like I've missed important themes and symbolisms and blah blah's.

i'm on staycation

2010-02-24T21:08:00.003-05:00

tofu teriyaki lunch special from sapporo haru

seitan burrito from the taco truck

red velvet cake soft serve from momofuku milk bar

curry grilled cheese w/ chutney sandwich from saltie

oreo and blueberry cupcakes from cupcakeland

tofu drumsticks and vegan ham wheel from vinnie's

pizza da pie from carmine's original

falafel sandwich from oasis

hobo noodles lunch special from cheers

samosas and okra baji w/ rice and from curry heaven

red velvet donuts from peter pan

tofu pad thai from amarin cafe

mac n cheese, curried potatoes, and special fruit "punch" from brooklyn moon cafe

+ other countless candies and saccharine drinks

you guys, i might have a problem. and it's only wednesday! i think i've spent a $thousand already :( and now i'm breathin heavy and watchin the olympix like da fat fucqq i am SO WUTT

cartwheeeeeel

2010-02-16T11:11:00.003-05:00

Check it-->> Matt walking at the Betsey Johnson fashion show this past weekend! He got scouted at Union Pool a few days prior!!

downward social mobility

2010-02-13T23:34:00.007-05:00

I just watched Metropolitan for the first time, courtesy of my roomie's Instant Netflix play thingy. AH new fave movie?!?!!!

If you're into completely unrealistic loquacious P.G. Wodehouse-y dialogue, I highly recommend this movie. It's so funny!!!! I feel like it's such a wiener thing to describe a movie as being "delightful" but after watching this, I understand why people do. It uffing rocks my ass.

I want to live in a world where people talk like this, casually. Whit Stillman is brilliant!!!!

THE REALNESS

2010-02-10T21:36:00.002-05:00

Pathetique

2010-02-09T13:37:00.005-05:00

It's some kind of sign! I was thinking a lot about Beethoven but specifically the 2nd movement of Pathetique (the famous one) a few days before I saw the Bukowski documentary "Born Into This" which uses that piece over and over again in the movie. I mean, pretty random. At first I think the sonata is a really sad piece, but then by the end I change my mind completely and I feel very hopeful. I think the Bukowski documentary people had the same idea!

Here is a guy playing the 2nd movement on a Korean network! It was like the first thing on youtube!

a fun discovery

2010-02-07T20:18:00.004-05:00

I was just thinking to myself, "all of my friends are hilarious!" and I mean that sincerely. I don't know if I'm intentionally surrounding myself with funny people, or if everyone just happens to be funny on their own, but what a great feeling. Literally all of my closest friends are some of the funniest and wittiest people I've met. They are great story tellers too. Which makes me wonder if funniness is more ubiquitous than I think. I'd like to think so.

In my own life, my mother is at the top of the list. She's so fucking hilarious I can't even talk about it. Do you ever feel as though no one is funnier than your mom or dad? I learned most of my humor-processing and appreciation from her, pretty sure. Even if we have a bit of a language barrier and culture clash, I still find that similar senses of humor is transcendent and universal. Somehow you just understand.

ccarousel

2010-02-02T22:42:00.007-05:00

My new etsy shop CCAROUSEL is officially up and running! No one told me how time-consuming and arduous the entire process was going to be. OMG it sucks so much. Fuck this shit. Seriously. Fuck this.

So I have some stuff up for sale! A lot of very simple stuff actually, older stuff I've been hoarding and need to get rid of. The next batch (if it ever gets uploaded) will be a lot cooler.

Also, this shop is meant to be a showcase of crafts in general. So, friends! If you make stuff (or have other friends who do), get in email connection with me and feel free to use ccarousel as a platform to sell shit!

Meanwhile, my roomie is watching the season premiere of LOST in the next room. So many scary discordant loud chords!!!!! I'm scared for real.

Doppledanger

2010-02-02T00:45:00.003-05:00

It's Doppledanger Week on facebook HUUUWUTT??!!! I know, srsly, shit's like hitting the fan and the wall.

Actually, it's royally retarded. I was thinking about it for literally 2 seconds (that's all the time I got for this) and I came to a couple of conclusions that 1.) there are no celebrities that look like me, and 2.) I'm super pleased about it.

I think this self-discovery makes me feel more unique and I'm glad to be me and no one else, even though sometimes I think to myself how cool it would be to be someone like Alicia Silverstone circa 1993, or like someone really pretty and tall and smart.

But whatever, I'm really enjoying my human experience right now! And I'll stick with it in my own identity. Plus if I ever become a celebrity, I'd be the only one that would look like me and I'd essentially have to insist on playing the older and younger versions of myself.

This just in

2010-01-30T19:23:00.006-05:00

Want to know what it feels to realize some dreams will never come to fruition? I'm not talking about becoming an astronaut or running the marathon, but something so simple as getting Lasik. A procedure that is unbiased of intelligence or fitness.

Apparently my eyes are far too bad to ever be considered for lasers. I am heartbroken by the news. Until modern science decides to advance itself for my benefit, I will succumb to a lifetime of specs. DREAM, SHATTERED. FUCK YOU, SCIENCE.

I feel like I have a justifiable fear I'll lose my vision one day. But maybe I'm just hysterical and actually my eyeball won't detach from my retina (this is science, people). I should really be thinking that I need to see and read as many beautiful things I can in my young life. Totally bitching.

FAMOUS LAST WORDS

2010-01-23T01:05:00.003-05:00

To all young people.....

"All I ask of you is one thing: please don't be cynical. I hate cynicism -- it's my least favorite quality and it doesn't lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen."

GOODNIGHT CONAN THANK YOU!!!!!

OKAY

2010-01-21T20:04:00.002-05:00

Lately I've been obsessed with the idea of change. Specifically the changes in people, the changes in their personalities. What is it that prompts them to shift something in their lives? Does it always have to be as extreme as a "wake up call" for a call to action? Or can a change be just as effective even if so minute, that no one picks up on it?

I think about the people around me who have "changed" significantly, and how they must have searched inside to find and dissect the very part that they wanted altered. Whether it be for the better or worse, it's incredible when you feel the vibes of their transformation.

Personalities are the core of what makes everyone unique. It's a culmination of collected memories and learned behavior, and to go in and change something that's so imprinted and genetic really blows my mind.

perchance to dream

2010-01-19T22:48:00.000-05:00

You're too late!!

2010-01-18T13:50:00.004-05:00

Over the holidays, my parents' house got robbed. It was shocking because, like all things that could be said about very nice suburban towns, this was something that I'd never thought would happen in the neighborhood I grew up in.

At any rate, I love love love my mom and dad. They've got such a calm and great sense of humor about things like this.

(Although I'm not sure about what my dad is insinuating with a sign in Spanish......)

The Beatles in 1957.

2010-01-17T17:31:00.001-05:00

George Harrison is 14, John Lennon is 16, and Paul McCartney is 15.

PART FOUR Soul and Body

2010-01-14T16:52:00.004-05:00

Here is a short passage from The Unbearable Lightness of Being:

"What is flirtation? One might say that it is behavior leading another to believe that sexual intimacy is possible, while preventing that possibility from becoming a certainty. In other words, flirting is a promise of sexual intercourse without a guarantee."

I kind of like this definition. But this confirms that I do not like to flirt. Fact. I wish there was further explanation of how to differentiate flirting from just being nice. Some people just don't know the difference! I, for one, thrive on empty promises but this is just a shitty game(/mean joke)!

PURP

2010-01-11T22:34:00.003-05:00

check out this bitch ass bruise I got from ice skating. I know wtfffff!!!!! I have another one just like it on my other knee. Bruised kneees!!!! That's what you get for falling on them. Im returrded.

riddle riddle me on

2010-01-11T00:30:00.003-05:00

dorfer

2010-01-06T13:26:00.009-05:00

Happy new decade

2010-01-05T16:57:00.003-05:00

Ah 2010!! We did it! Specifically, I did it. But anyway, yay!!!! Glad we're all entering this new journey together.

Everyone's been talking about New Year's resolutions and stuff, and while I don't really have "official" ones, here are some things I'd just like to be mindful of. Only because these aren't supposed to be new year resolutions but lifetime resolutions. Right????

- be good to my body

- stop thinking about heroin (I've never done it, obviously, I just don't wanna think about it)

- be good to everyone around me, this includes homeless people, that weirdo friend-of-a-friend, and my brother when he's being an asshole

- keep expanding my mind

- be less wasteful

- stop obsessing over death

- stop obsessing over poop

- stop doing drugs

- spend less $$$$ on clothes

- have confidence

- write and read more

- don't die because I need to see Pavement in September

- be less of an internet creeper

- be less of a creep, in general

I don't know, you get the gist.....it's pretty self-involved but maybe you'll see something that speaks to you too. That's why I'm here. This is the realness, people. Happy new year.

Dear Elisa,

2010-01-04T16:07:00.002-05:00

Read this book. I think you'll like it.

chickkiie!!

2009-12-29T02:05:00.001-05:00

this is just so weird, I can't stop watching it

MY TWIN?????

2009-12-23T14:55:00.006-05:00

A year ago my friend said he was at a party and saw a girl who he thought was me. He started talking to her and she was all like, "ummm who ARE you??" and he was like "O DANG. THiS is weird."

Then he became fb friends with her just so he could send me some pics (LOVE IT). I saw them and I was all like, "WEIRD. I don't know how I feel about this??? Knowing there's another person that looks like me existing and I didn't even know????"

Naturally I forgot about it for a year, then revisited these pics, and then felt compelled to blog it up. And I do admit, even I'm all like, "woah we DO look alike," except I like my style way better.

ze Ridgewuud Chamber Orkestar

2009-12-22T01:24:00.004-05:00

Being in orchestra was a big part of my high school experience. It was the one period where my brother and I both shared the same class, and you know how that is in high school, right? Like really weird and awkward (esp if your younger bro was much better than you). But anyway, most of the time we'd already be familiar with the stuff we'd play (just from being in other community orchestras) but there was one year we played so much good shit I'd never heard before. That was the best year, it was my senior year.

Kabalevsky's 'Colas Breugnon' was one of them. It always reminded me so much of the theme to Dexter's Laboratory. (not that it was the reason I loved this piece so much....it was just really odd and fun. unconventional keys, fast tempos, discordance, etc)

Then there was this piece, 'The Moldau' composed by Smetana. It's about the Moldau river and you can hear how the water flows through Bohemia and there's even a little wedding scene! Sometimes when a lot of time passes by and when I'm not thinking, it will slip my mind and I'll forget the composer's name but shiit! I hope I never ever forget. Smetana, Smetana, Smetana. It would break my heart if I forgot. I remember listening to this for the first time thinking it was the prettiest thing I've ever heard. And then when we played it at our concert, I remember how it swelled up my heart. Like total cheezball Mr Holland Opus Music of the Heart tears rolling rolling down my cheeks gay tard shit. Smetana composed this while he was going deaf (or maybe he was already deaf by that time?) so it's likely he never got to hear his own swan song.

VW Trailer

2009-12-19T21:38:00.002-05:00

WANT/NEED

2009-12-18T15:19:00.003-05:00

Deborah Lippmann. "Happy Birthday"

terds day

2009-12-17T02:28:00.005-05:00

particular types of people

2009-12-15T15:53:00.004-05:00

1. people who say "I guess it's just another typical day" right after they state something they think is super cool that's going on

2. people who describe themselves as "low maintenance"

3. people who actually say out loud "nom nom nom"

4. people who say things like "Isn't my life is so ridiculous?"

5. people who pass off jokes or funny anecdotes as their own, forgetting that the person with the original source is within listening distance

6. people who take too long getting to the punch line or to the point

O-O

2009-12-13T21:36:00.006-05:00

I'm having a major identity crisis!!!!! I went in for an eye checkup this weekend, thinking the doc and I can chat about Lasik and/or getting new contacts, and instead, he told me I have an infection in both my eyes and I'm only allowed to wear my glasses until further notice. THIS FUCKING SUCKS. Also, I need to get prescription drops and they cost $40 a teeny bottle and I have to get it refilled at least 5 times. :( :( :( :(

I've had glasses since I was 2 so I shouldn't feel so weird about being restricted temporarily but things have been different since I was 15, as a daily non-glasses wearer. I haaaaaate wearing my glasses now. I can't see as well, I can't put on eye makeup, and I feel gross and sloppy. Plus, the lenses fog up quickly and it's sooooo embarrassing! My life pre-8th grade has come back. I just don't feel the same. Clothing on me doesn't look the same. My hair doesn't look the same. How do I find my identity again???? HALP.

An Education

2009-12-07T12:52:00.008-05:00

An Education, the movie!! I saw it! It's pretty good! It made me feel so much better about life than the movie Precious did. Anyway.

There is a scene where Dominic Cooper and Carey Mulligan are dancing and their conversation is about art and what is it that makes certain things "good" art. Dom's character responds with how things are measured in people's level in taste.

let's discuss art in french. haw haw oui oui

The timing is also crucial and the culture's receptiveness to be challenged in new ways. To pinpoint the "right time" is impossible though. And that is why great things are often hailed as "ahead of its time," appreciated only many years (or generations) later. Is it an "I don't get it" or an "I don't want to get it" or both?

I'm curious about that time. That time that sits in between the future-appreciaters and the past-apathetics and how something ripens into "good" art. HHHHMMMM.

A few boys from my past

2009-12-01T13:49:00.015-05:00

(a love story)

SOKO

2009-11-30T12:51:00.003-05:00

holidazed!! Thanksgiving

2009-11-29T23:44:00.003-05:00

Even though I'm 24 years old and I'm definitely not a toddler, I still sometimes over-eat to the point of vomitation. It's totally wrong and gross, yeah I know, but sometimes I just can't determine my capacity until it's too late. Like you know how sometimes you're at a bar and you get a few drinks and you're not sure if you're even drunk and then you get up from your chair and then you're suddenly like "ohhhh sheeeeeyit I'm gonna barf" it's like that, but with food. I can't tell if I'm just retarded or veiling some horrible eating disorder.

So anyway, Thanksgiving. All I have are memories of undigested neutral-colored foods swirling in a toilet.

Also, I don't like pies made by kids because they taste really really bad and parents should stop letting their kids bake pies and then offering it at dinner. Because normal people will eat it and then throw it up because it tastes super awful, and the pie is also weirdly wet.

Also, any joy I accumulated from Fantastic Mr. Fox was ruthlessly crushed by the depressing Precious. Do not see these movies back2back!!!!

And also, I love my family!!!!!! I love them all. In no particular order: dad, mom, bro-face.

Things I'm thankful for:

2009-11-25T11:03:00.004-05:00

(in no particular order)

- family

- friends

- Taylor Swift

- Glee

SAY NO

2009-11-23T11:43:00.005-05:00

I'm the only one in my fam who doesn't possess the eyelid fold!!!! Is it a recessive trait? Wuteva I'm cool with it. The sunken-in eye look??? It's totally a thing. (I don't know if it is, I just made it up)

The eye fold is a huge thing in South Korea. It's equivalent to, say, Miami girls being gifted boob jobs for their 18th bday (I don't know why Miami--I'm just assuming it's a place they would do that). But yea, and Korean kids get their eyelids slit. It's a sign of beauty.

I don't know why they go through with all of that when they can do what I do.....and just "act white" or whatever. It's so much easier. Here are examples: Eat vegan pizza, major in English, wear buffalo plaid, grow arm hair, wear shoes indoors, never think about Korean stuff until someone else mentions them and then all of a sudden you think Nam Jun Paik is real real cool and you're reading up on Buddhism and watchin Korean thrillers and snackin on kimchee, etc ETC

(I wasn't called a "twinkie" for nothin! I'm a masteress now)

But anyway. To stare at yourself in the mirror, post eyelid surgery, with eyes that aren't yours....that just makes you a stranger, stranger.

say hi to forever

2009-11-20T15:47:00.004-05:00

Daul Kim---I can't shake her out my head. I was obsessed with her creativity and eccentricity. Her blog I Like To Fork Myself (if you've seen it on my blogroll to the right) was regularly updated with weird and amazing little posts, about art, about Korean culture, fashion, her guinea pigs, whatever. Everything she had to say was so interesting. And she was hilarious! The concept of celebrity and admiration....it's weird to talk about how someone you didn't even know could affect you in such an impacting way. But whatever Daul embodied, I'll probably never forget about it.

RIP Daulmonster.

24 hrs in Cambridge

2009-11-16T22:46:00.012-05:00

skeleton shirts

2009-11-16T12:05:00.005-05:00

and dresses!!!!! I love them.

waiting.......

famous last words (of advice)

2009-11-11T23:39:00.003-05:00

As for television writers, in comedy or drama, there's a simple rule: Include the line "We have to talk," even if your characters have done nothing but for half an hour. Producers love that line. Writers are brought in and paid a fortune for their ability--and willingness--to write that line.

--Bruce Jay Friedman, The Collected Works of Bruce Jay Friedman

Monday

2009-11-09T12:40:00.005-05:00

In my recent state of delirium, I traversed over memory that I thought I misplaced. It was all in my head, apparently, but couldn't be accessed with the election and the shootings going on. Too much. There was too much to think about, and yet nothing to think about. I read words that meant nothing more than to validate my literacy. No meaning, no understanding. And then I was like, Well heck, I don't need to be doing anything but sit. I could be staring at the wall and that's all the stimulation I could ask for. So more hours, then days, and then a week went by. There were some dreams, there were some phone calls, some emails. But then, I saw a familiar face in this magazine I mindlessly was browsing through and I said Hey! This person! Holy crap what the fuck is going on here, and why does time move on so fast and how come I can't keep up. Well, this sense of missing. It just keeps happening.

TAYLOR SWIFT!

2009-11-08T11:25:00.003-05:00

TAYLOR SWIFT!!!!

yes

YES

YESSSS!

you are da best

JETT

2009-10-26T01:12:00.002-04:00

my roomie and I get Esquire magazine bc the guy who used to live in our apt forgot to change his address. A half nakie kate beckinsale is on the cover (zzzz) but the mag's contents are kind of cool. Here are some lines from the What I've Learned section. feat. Joan Jett.

I remember times when I was at shows and the person onstage locked eyes with me. And in that moment, everything was right with the world. I think that's part of my job, to create these thousands of moments every night. and for the rest of their life, they can say "You guys looked at me," or "you sweated on me," or "I got your gum."

totes true!!!! One time i locked eyes with Kim deal and consider it a real lesbian experience in college. JK that actually never happend but I wish! And then another time I think i hit a crazy O during a beirut show. NEVER mind I'm just lying about that too!! This other time, I really thought I gave birth to something while seeing built to spill. it could have been a poop smear but it wasn't cus I'm totes just kidding all over you right now. But i really get what joan jett is saying....i need to be on the receiving end of that.

the sun, the smoking and drinking--I avoid them. I have friends the same age as me who do those things, and it's a whole different deal.

So yeah 30 years from now! I'll be sayin da same thing

The national anthem is a very hard song to sing. you gotta start in the right spot or you're screwed.

same thing with the birthday song

When the Runaways broke up, I didn't know what I wanted to do. A breakup is like losing a very good friend. It's like a death.

yes, it is. Not only am I losing Mika Miko this holiday season, but EVERYONE is. and it is a travesty!!! MIka miko, thank you for making music that I could dance to and feel good about and go crazy. can't even put to words how much love and admiration I have for MM. whatev I don't have to say anything, it's just a feeling!!!! and it overwhelms me

Read the entire thing here

wonny bunny

2009-10-26T00:20:00.005-04:00

My brother is moving to Manhattan to be closer to me!!!!! JK he is definitely NOT doing this for me but I hope I get to see him more often anyway! even though he will be living in a ghetto ass faraway place off a subway line I didn't even know existed. JK it's the blue line, and I've def heard of it. Sometimes I take it if I want to make sure I want to NOT BE on time for important things.

I asked my mom how i should maintain my relationship with him now that we're in the same city and she said I should just call him and say, "OH wonny, my brother, how are you?" and then offer to buy dinner. I don't know if i want to do that just yet, just cus i have more frivilous online shopping I'd like to do before spending some coins on food commitments (I'm fine with eating peanut butter for dinner this week). But here's to my brother finally moving out of the houzz!!!! I'm so excited!!!!

ONE WEEK.

The week of Balloon Boy

2009-10-21T02:01:00.008-04:00

I cannot stop thinking about the Balloon Boy hoax. It's such an amazing story. I love it so much because there is a perfectly crafted comedy within an unsuspecting tragedy. It's really incredible. There's also a fantastic modern-day twist, fully involving an alien hovercraft-y balloon and a reality television-hungry hero/villain. And the more things are revealed about this situation, the better the overarching story becomes. There is something Kafkaesque illuminating from the Balloon Boy tale.

I really believe the father could have been a successful author or screenwriter. It's clear he's very talented to think up so elaborately this entire adventure. The crises and tension that he crafted was impeccable: a child of six, the sibling who claimed to have witnessed his brother in the balloon, the missing basket, a history on Wife Swap (peculiar!), the unveiling of the balloon, the missing body, the impending search, the rejoicing reunion.

SO good. But too bad the father's fast and furious downfall resulted from the innocence and honest confusion of his six year old kid on national television. Note to parents: little kids are dumb. And then remember when on another interview, the little boy barfed on a morning show while his father was vehemently denying the publicity stunt accusations? Holy shit. This is out of control. I'm dying. This is the kind of story I'll keep in my back pocket.

Three other miscellaneous but crucial items: 1.) a scientist nerd alert, 2.) an Asian wife and bi-racial children, and 3.) names like Falcon and Ryo.

Geography Lesson

2009-10-12T21:28:00.007-04:00

oldie but a shitty. was I the only perv in geography class or did everyone else see what I saw?

(PSSSST I'm talking about dicks)

Not normal

2009-10-08T11:26:00.004-04:00

There's so much hoopla about this movie called Paranormal Activity -- it's hailed as one of the scariest movies EVER made. It's about a couple who think there are demons in their new house that come out at night. They begin rolling videotapes at night to document the entire thing and then......spooky things start to happen. I'm not gonna say any more because I don't know anything else about it!

Currently there are only midnight showings at select theaters but I have no doubts the movie is going to be released nationwide. But I hear from people who have seen it that audience members were crying, screaming, and walking out because they were so scared shitless. Others say they are afraid to go to bed now, that they've been psychologically damaged.

See, I don't understand this world. A world that people actually want to be frightened. What is it about this notion of "controlled fear" that viewers put themselves in situations like this? But can fear even be "controlled"? I personally don't think so. I HATE horror movies and I can't understand people who are fans of them. Horror stories are sick, twisted, and inhuman. I see a trailer for a scary flick and think, "what could make someone think of such awful thoughts and put it down on paper?" It's kind of incredible that sick ideas could be shared with a wider audience with receptive responses.

Anyway, I'm a big scaredy-cat so I'm never ever going to watch Paranormal Activity anyway. Everything scares me. Like literally everything. I can't even hear The Beatles's "Strawberry Fields Forever" because the instrumental bridge reeeeally freaks me out, it just does. Right now I hear low growling but it's cool, it's just my tummy. I'm gonna go put a cookie in it.

That's the one

2009-10-05T02:25:00.014-04:00

It's almost Halloween (yay!!) and my roommate bought a short black wig. She has tentative plans for the hairpiece but in the event she doesn't follow through with her initial idea, she luckily has a plethora of other ill options.

The short black bob is a statement, an attitude that will live on for ladydom generations. You can infer much from a girl who is bold enough to pull off the chopped, overdyed coif. She is shameless, outspoken, charismatic, and energetic. It's likely she's also a righteous bitch, or probably too intelligent for her own good.

She's sassy, a rather polite adjective for a girl-with-a-short-black-bob's rude or unladylike behavior. She can be hyper-sexualized but will give off the impression she's more modest than you think.

But anyway, you don't mess with her. She could F U up.

don't shit yrself!

2009-10-02T12:25:00.007-04:00

I was just kidding (I'm not kidding)

2009-09-27T21:23:00.028-04:00

My brother and father share the same birthday, and that was on Friday. I think it's so cool to be gifted your child on your birthday!! My father goes by the Chinese Lunar Calendar so his birthday dates vary slightly every year but in real life, he and my brother are bday twins.

So I went to get a blood test done and the nurse performed her worst yet. Medical people generally have a hard time locating my vein (buried in all that fat) so could be that this procedure was done incorrectly. A stranger at a party asked if I know someone who sells heroin.

Heroin is disgusting. but Christmas Teddy is cute.

For general improvement of life and digestion, I've started taking psyllium husk. You can buy a container at Trader Joe's called The Secret of the Psyllium and it's packaged with this Egyptian hieroglyphic design over it to make it look all cool and ancient-remedy-like. I don't know how long you're supposed to wait until you experience the effects of so said miracle herb but so far it's only contributing to my constipation/bloating. So basically, doing exactly opposite of what it promises. Fuct^!!

Here are some images from the Griffiths Observatory in LA. There is never enough to discover about the infinite space.

LA Day 2

2009-09-23T00:24:00.011-04:00

welcome to the rest of your life

this is real life aka NOT A DREAM

junk yard sale thing

hammer museum! this is the lobby. check out the ape in the corner!!

the artist only used tapes and adhesives to create all of this

ALL OF THIS. aww pig!

real cool shit

it's like a dollhouse but it was a ballroom. detailssss were retardedly sickkk.

i loved this light installation! It's a tree that danced around through the different seasons. then the DJ started playing discovery "osaka loop line". great mood music!!!! check out this sweet vid I directed. (buwwwahah i'm just being dumb)

soooo.....what do you think abt life????

then we went into the museum's theater for the FLUX presentation. see previous post about that night's music vids and short films. totally rad!!!!

we ended the night with dessert, duhhh. I forget the name of the place we went to but listen, you get two soft cookies of your choice and a scoop of ice cream of your choice for only $1.25!!!! wuttt the hay

LA Day 1

2009-09-23T00:13:00.006-04:00

o this guy

cool building

james took us to an ethiopian place!

omg my boobie

new mini coop!! pepper white!!

en route to Cali....

2009-09-21T23:36:00.015-04:00

Backtracking. I just put some phunky photos on my computer. Let's gooooooo!

follow da graffiti road

nowhere/everywhere

transformers

weird cross & star thing built atop a mtn

i farted don't tell anyone

"lord of the onion rings"

al-bur-a-Q-r-Q (albuquerque)

red canyons for miles

ass

i was constipated and staring at this

indians!!!!

hudson at sunset

LA: FLUX, Tuesday night

2009-09-18T23:40:00.010-04:00

disclaimer: these entries are out of order cus my brain's just catching up now

The Hammer Museum hosts a Flux ("a global creative community") screening series of music videos and short films periodically throughout the year. And it happened during the same week I was there!!!! Wow, such luck. I don't even know what luck is!!!! Anyway, since fate was farting it all over my face, we went!!!!

Tuesday's program so rad. Like real tight. Like off da hook. Illin' and sickin'. Real cool shit. Here they are below, in order.

A highlight was the Spike Jonze short "We Were Once A Fairytale," which couldn't have been more timely because of that Wild Things movie coming out and the short film's star Kanye West. And French director BIF's short "Dix (Ten)" was also an intense look at the psyche of an OCD patient. It was incredible.

The Dead Weather - Treat Me Like Your Mother

Dir. Jonathan Glazer

USA | 2009

Treat Me Like Your Mother-The Dead Weather from godbo6 on Vimeo.

Neurosonics Audiomedical Labs Inc.

Dir. Chris Cairns

UK | 2009

Neurosonics Audiomedical Labs Inc. from Chris Cairns on Vimeo.

Dix (Ten)

Dir. BIF

UK | 2009

Department of Eagles - No One Does It Like You

Dir. Patrick Daughters & Marcel Dzama

USA | 2009

Coldplay - Strawberry Swing

Dir. Shynola

UK | 2009

Grizzly Bear - While You Wait For Others

Dir. Sean Pecknold

USA | 2009

Grizzly Bear - While You Wait for the Others from Grandchildren on Vimeo.

We Were Once A Fairytale - I can't find it online but it's on iTunes, sorrrrr :(

Dir. Spike Jonze

USA | 2009

Logorama - jahh can't find dis one either but here's a real shitty screengrab of a real good thing!

Dir. H5

USA | 2009

LA: Wednesday AM stuff and heritage rejection

2009-09-16T20:44:00.007-04:00

This morning I got myself a drink at Starbucks. I don't drink coffee cus it: 1. makes me crraaayyyzzzaayyy, 2. usually makes me shit like heck no, 3. makes my pee smell like coffee (anyone else????) but I don't know, it just seemed appropriate. Also, I had to use the restroom reeeeal bad and I was in there for like ever. Anyway, I felt bad so I decided to make a purchase. Pumpkin Spice is back, said the sign. And then my brain went all oooooh and ahhhhh over this. I got the Pumpkin Spice iced latte and it was pretty tasty but I just don't know.....something about an autumn specialty that's meant to conjure cosiness and changing foliage in blazing LA heat felt weird. To get over this, I walked like 2 miles to the nearest nail salon for a mani-pedi (sweet term, innit?) Just kidding. It's gross.

Anyway, just like it is in NYC, the nail places here are run by Korean people. As are the dry cleaners, delis, Korea town, et cetera. My people! But I am dejected by them. And it happens like this: I go into an obviously-Korean-owned establishment and they speak to me in broken English so I try to facilitate the communication by speaking to them in Korean. But first, the woman at the dry cleaners, after fully imbibing my Korean response, rejected my "we are the same people"/"with arms wide open" attempt and looked me squarely in the eyes and continued speaking to me in Engrish. Offensive! And then the same thing happened again, at the nail salon. After telling the woman in Korean I'm sorry for having yucky feet, she was all like "whatever", or whatever. I don't get it. Sucks a big cawkward.

But at least my nails are pretty now! Mommy bunny would be so proud. She always said I could be the grossest gutterpunk turd but as long as my hands and feet are groomed, I can still be considered a lady. My nails are kind of sea foamy but the color's officially called "Hey! Get in Lime!". Cosmetic copywriters are such nerd alerts. WARNING: chode fingers belowwww!!

strangers on deh train

2009-09-16T03:28:00.003-04:00

Hey everyone! I'm on vacay!! In Los An-jealous(??) (no, don't be). I got into town via Amtrak with my friend cross country, the first train from NYC to Chicago, the other from Chicago to LA. The last leg of the trip meant two nights in a double decker train without any electrical outlets by our seats so I spent a good portion of my sleepless evenings in the lower level bathrooms where I found places to plug in my laptop and cellphone. Ace! I attempted to chronicle the adventure. Here is something I Word Doc'd in the restroom. Jealous???? No, don't be. It had to be done.

There are lots of weirdos on the train. There was Tim (or Timp, as he is apparently called by his friends) the crackhead, who was sitting in the seat in front of me. “I just did like 20 rails in the bathroom,” he broadcasted to his friend on the cellphone. “Man, the train is the way to move shit, I’m telling ya. There are no fuckin sniffin dogs, no one checkin bags, nothin’.” Then shortly after, he tried going to sleep by curling up into a ball and closing his eyes. I don’t know what he was trying to pull, thinking he could nap while blasted on massive amounts of cocaine. He didn’t get much rest from Chicago to Flagstaff, where he eventually got off. Most of his two nights on the train was spent talking loudly on the phone to his “baby”; “What! Baby! I thought you were talking about your vagina! [Pause] I said, I thought you were talking about your vagina!” Tim’s only carry-on was a backpack, a two-liter bottle of Sprite and a giant bag of rod pretzels. He wore only one T-shirt (and apparently, only carried one T-shirt his entire trip) and it said “iPray” in a similar logo lockup as the “Google” logo. And underneath the “iPray”, said smaller and in white type, “Do you?”

GOOD HEAD

2009-09-09T19:02:00.004-04:00

In about T minus 40 minutes, I'll be getting a much-needed hair cut (or trim, it's still TBD). I'm very much looking forward to the part where a stranger washes my hair. It feels sooooo good! Sosososo good. My eyes roll back, my tongue sticks out, and my leg begins to kick involuntarily from pleasure overload. Can't wait!!!! It's probably going to be the highlight of my week fsho.

But I am not looking forward to the part where my hairdresser starts talkin to me like she know me or sumthin. Just do your job, woman! and let me be. I'm not paying you $50 so you can be distracted. I know that my exciting life of passing time, internet radio and youtube videos really gets you in a tizzy but please! calm yourself and make sure you don't get too close to my bangs. I'm trying to grow them out.

Happy 09.09.09!! And happy bday Spett and Zach.

I'm Feeling Lucky

2009-09-02T00:46:00.003-04:00

The Banana Derby is usually a staple attraction at The Great New York State Fair but was omitted this year. Too bad! It was our first time visiting the town of Syracuse.

The Banana Derby is where little monkeys are put in costumes and they ride on dogs like horses and they race!!

Other hedonistic realities discovered however-- 24" corn dogs, wine slushies, carnival rides!, tons of farm animals (ie pink chickens, big ass bunnies), life size butter sculptures, freakshow attractions (smallest woman alive, old man baby, etc.), deep fried nachos, deep friend mashed potatoes, deep fried anything, obese goths, kid mullets & rat tails, Kate Gosselin lesbian hair.

Also, Happy September!

everything's fine

2009-08-31T12:03:00.004-04:00

Sometimes I think that I actually died a long time ago

Once, when I was 17

And if not then

Another time, when I was 21

So that right now, at this very moment,

I'm in my afterlife just living

Chilling, as though nothing happened

Everything is fine

All the people I've met and

All the things I'm doing today

Happen to play a part in my afterlife

And I'm fulfilling what I think is right

Because this is how I imagined I wanted my life to be lived

free form freak out & pimples!!

2009-08-27T13:31:00.003-04:00

u guys I don't think my acne medication is working, aka my baby stopping pills, like bumps all over my forehead and shiz In a second i gotta go pop them in da B room. I'd rather do that than shave off my pimples like my mom once taught me to do-- she's a beauty queen her skin's real smoov Holy shyyyyte. Hope der is no bump in my belly any time soon, u know what i'm sayin?cus all I know is that my skin is breakin da fook out!! JK there will be NO babies, it's cool i'm preeeeettty sure of it. i mean, What good is all this $$$ for health insurance for when all i can afford to eat at night is crackers and beer (omg JK I like thai ice tea sans condenzd milk). I just wanna be in bed to finish watchin DREAMgirls, wowowow great movie but all I can do is sit here for a few more hours, creepy raymond carver img staring at me, he's got like mad rape in his eyes like no joke. it's a bad book cover but at least all them words are tyte SO SO tyte

Off switch

2009-08-25T15:28:00.003-04:00

Say you're in a creative setting, be it in art, music, literature or publishing. Do you ever feel so bored or uninspired that you feel like your brain is throbbing in pain?

I wonder if this means that 1.) your brain is actually exhausted from stimulation overload and it's crashing, or 2.) like food poisoning, you feel like your brain is starving but rejects everything but because it thinks everything is just plain dumb.

Also, can creativity and madness be mutually exclusive?

CREEPER BEEPER

2009-08-23T03:21:00.002-04:00

WHO DA FUQ IS DIS BROAD & WHY IS SHE IN MY NIGHTMARES??!?!?!!

GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT

baller status

2009-08-20T14:35:00.002-04:00

You In Reverse (B)

2009-08-19T00:06:00.004-04:00

I am undoubtedly very excited about Built to Spill's forthcoming seventh album "There Is No Enemy". The way I feel connected to that band is something rooted and instinctual, really. Doug Martsch's voice brings me the same kind of comfort of that of my mother's. They could be my musical soul mate. In my rendition of "The Little Mermaid", I am Eric and I'm perennially haunted by the beautiful echos of northwestern indie guitar chords, and BTS is the Ariel that is trapped in that shell of sacred harmonies. I mean, there are other bands and musicians too, but BTS is up there.

For my father, the man who has introduced me to Simon & Garfunkel, The Carpenters, Frank Sinatra, and other greats or whatever, there's always been one band that superseded the rest. ABBA. It is always on. He can't ever get enough. Last holiday, on a family road trip to Toronto, we listened to ABBA on repeat for 10 hours straight there and another 10 hours back (driver's rules). And though my father's somber personality does not seem compatible to that of the disco gayness of ABBA, the magical bean of Swedish pop nestles deep in his gut and all is okay in his world. It's a love that my father really can't put into words, similar to how he can't put the correct lyrics to those songs. But it don't matter. I joked that I will be playing ABBA at his memorial service one day. He vehemently accepted the offer.

Ira Glass on Storytelling

2009-08-18T23:37:00.002-04:00

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Yeah I Know

2009-08-11T10:30:00.003-04:00

Famous Class

Life Lesson #23

2009-08-09T23:34:00.003-04:00

There is a moment when things suddenly become clear. The haze of innocence airs out quickly and you're left feeling stark naked, vulnerable and ashamed as your rose-colored glasses smash underneath your feet.

One particular moment was when my brother and I stumbled upon pornography at the monks' cabin at the Buddhist temple we used to go to. Except we didn't know at the time that it was porn -- I thought it was a boring video about medical practices (it involved a doctor sticking a pencil into holes on a naked patient where they didn't belong). Pretty awkWEIRD. Whateva, I was young. I remember thinking, "Wow, what a creepy and boring movie." But I didn't realize until many years later when my brother went back to visit the temple, after he told me how he and the monks made a ran to the nearest video store because they had to return a whole stack of dirty flicks, that what we had discovered in the VCR more than 15 years ago was something our virgin eyes shouldn't have seen. I was initially grossed out. At a Buddhist temple? Really? But then it made sense to me, all those poor celibate shaved ones, and now I'm fine with it. I'm not a porn addict, that's cool, right??

The second part of this story involves the pungent scent of a certain burning plant. What I thought was one of those "temple incense smells" actually turned out to be the ganja. Da weeed! At one of my first concerts when I was a high school frosh, someone toked up and that familiar old smell transported me away from the nosebleed mezzanine and straight to the monks' cabin, and I was 8 years old again. And I was all like, "WTF?!" as Beck sang something about Sexx Laws or whateva.

As my iTunes shuffle lands on The Spice Girls' "2 Become 1" do I now think, "Hmmm this is really sensual. Maybe I shouldn't have sung so loudly along to things I didn't know anything about." Back then, making love, getting it on, and going back for more was easy as MMMBop.

2009-08-04T12:56:00.000-04:00

I'm a cliche but wutevs

2009-08-03T12:43:00.004-04:00

Happy August everyone!

The move is complete, we said our goodbyes to our old place, and I'm back at work. We got a couch up four flights, got pummeled by downpour, lost the battle with Time, and my body is very disoriented from the whole ordeal. A real snafu of a situation. Three day weekend, I hardly knew ya. So skanky.

There are lots of stairs in between my new dwelling place and the ground so I sent my purple stallion of a bicycle home back to New Jersey. It is too expensive and important to me to keep on the street at night with all the Williamsburg heroin squatters or whatever. Anyway. My bike: not a skank. But! I got to see my dad for a quick second this morning when he came to pick up my violet terror on wheels. Aw I love mi padre. I talk about my mom more than I should (I'm like obsessed with her, she don't even know what love is) but I just wanna say, out here in bloggo world that DAD, I REALLY REALLY LIKE YOU TOO. I love you, actually. If only I could say it to your face...... (just kidding, I do). (Just kidding, I rarely do that.) (Just kidding, I do love him though.)

And Greenpoint is swell! I regret nothing. Well, maybe except for the fourth floor walk up (what the fuck was I thinking). Anyway, we barely graze the Williamsburg border but already I see actual grown men and women walking on the streets!! With babies!! Puppehs!! It's almost like living in a real place and not in some Williamsburg College Campus Dorm Building Rathole. See also: skank.

Moving

2009-07-30T01:42:00.003-04:00

I am taking a break from packing. My life is being measured in boxes; current count: 4 Big, 1 Little. I have a lot of stuff. Too much stuff. I want to re-evaluate my life in terms of how many material things I need to own. "I'm impressed by how many shoes you have," my roomie tells me. I'm very unashamed/ashamed.

I saw a centipede-ish bug that was wandering around my empty closet. I Dust Bustered that shit. When the next person goes to discard the cartridge, I hope the pseudo-centipede has either died or crawled out.

Things to ponderosa

2009-07-20T11:53:00.003-04:00

1. Is back hair only common amongst the portly? Has anyone seen it on a skinny dude?

2. How come I don't escape to the Hamptons every weekend? I want to do that.

3. About 30% of America* knows what a guido is. It's primarily an east coast term.

4. Name this band (no cheating): "Tell me all your thoughts on God."

5. Tits are unacceptable. Boobs, fine.

6. Two-showers-a-day weather.

7. The haunting of CT. It's a love story.

8. Don't change for nobody, Frank Bruni!

9. "The State" reaffirms the belief I should have been born in 1970.

10. Deerhoof did it first, but worse.

*Apparently.

Broke Her Fee

2009-07-15T00:27:00.001-04:00

In less than three weeks, I'm moving to a magical new land called the Le Vert de Pointe (Greenpoint). Lush and rolling green pastures will always triumph massive oil spills. It's a very inspirational place. My future bedroom will be large enough to fit comfortably: a full size bed, a desk, a dresser, and likely a crafts/musical instruments corner. This will be good.

I can't say that about my current abode which is a slum. I live in a pile of my own filth-- my clothes are all over the floor, collecting dust and hair and noe tails clippings and moths. Underwear is kept in a duffle bag. There is no room for a dresser or a desk. The light switch is inconveniently placed in the middle of the room. My shameful twin mattress has not experienced the company of another shameless human. Oh, I just found random sunflower seeds underneath my pillow (I don't eat these) and there's a cracked mirror on the floor.

It's hard to imagine why or how NYC housing standards are so low and why people tolerate unlivable conditions. Two separate friends used to live in bedrooms that were only wide enough to fit a mattress and nothing else. The bed served as the closet and clothing served as both the bedding and blanket. Both tall boys, each friend could only sleep diagonally on their respective mattresses. Other pals live in bedrooms with no windows, some with no doors, no closets, and no dignity. Lots of apartments don't even have living rooms. No where else in the world except New York City would anyone think railroad style apartments are acceptable. Bathrooms here are so cramped that you could poop in the toilet and barf in the sink simultaneously. "Wiggle room" is a luxury.

My situation isn't bad at all compared to others' but still, the home is where you ought to feel relaxed and comfortable. Which is why I'm very stoked on the forthcoming first of August. It's a five floor walk-up in my new building but I'm gonna try not to think about it.

This American Life: Fear of Sleep

2009-07-14T12:46:00.002-04:00

Everything is fine.

(no subject) YB to me

2009-07-09T23:58:00.003-04:00

Is it awful im obsessed with this?
i am obsessed

he reminds me of a young cool me
even though i was nothing like this

XX Chromosomes*: The Musical

2009-07-08T16:21:00.004-04:00

Life under the same JMZ tracks. How hilarious can one borough get?

Featuring:

WOMEN
SISTERS
SCREAMING FEMALES
BABIES
GIRLS
DUM DUM GIRLS
VIVIAN GIRLS
LITTLE GIRLS

With Special Guests:

CRYSTAL CASTLES
CRYSTAL STILTS
CRYSTAL ANTLERS
THE ANTLERS

*XY Chromosomes, mostly

Horowitz

2009-07-08T13:30:00.001-04:00

"gawd, do you remember when she ruled the late 80s-90s? mermaids, edward scissorhands, beetlejuice, reality bites, little women, girl interrupted...dated johnny depp, then dated matt damon while her power bff gwyneth dated ben affleck. PERFECTION.

and then it all ended with Autumn in New York--which i saw in theaters."

- Stephanie, on Winona Ryder

2009-07-07T17:29:00.002-04:00